First, let me say I'm in an amazing relationship with the love of my life. She's educated, initiated, and simply awesome. I love and cherish the sh*t outta her. She's my everything. Whenever she calls or text me, my whole world stops.
I know you're probably thinking "yeah, yeah, yeah...blah, blah, blah! Get on with the post!" Okay, I will.
Of course there have been times I've been single in Chicago. I also have many single frat brothers and friends in Chicago. One of the most interesting things I've found among educated and initiated Black men in Chicago, is many (not all) of them aren't on social media. I view that as an advantage and a disadvantage.
The advantage is it weeds out "A and B class" women from "C, D, and F-class" women. Don't get me wrong, I respect all women, but there are some thots in the haystack.
Thots come in all shapes and sizes. Indeed there are various classes of women in Chicago outside of thots. The classes of women are a bit tricky in that there's some complexity relative to social norms and pathologies.
A and B class Black women in Chicago are the in-crowd women. They are part of various civic organizations, social clubs and sororities. They're all initiated, educated and have graduate degrees.
A and B class women in Chicago have high standards that sometimes block them from some amazing single Black men who might not necessarily be on their level socially, economically or educationally.
C and D class Black women in Chicago are those who are part of motorcycle and car clubs. Most (not all) have an associates degree. They take pride in being members of various churches as if their church is some exclusive private club.
They haven't made the best choices and were oftentimes dealt a harsh hand in life. They're fine with working low-level jobs while living an upper echelon hood lifestyle.
F-class Black women in Chicago are the worse. They have no ambition besides posting ass and titty pics on social media. All they do is smoke weed, have sex all day and pop babies.
Most haven't graduated high school and have no plans on at least going back to school to receive their GED! They'd rather stay home and collect a welfare check as if it's some generational inheritance.
You can catch them in fight videos on social media. Most of them have no clue who the father of their child(ren) are. F-class women are viewed as dumping grounds.
You can find F-class women in the hood at the local grocery store, clinic, etc., in their pajamas and sporting a dingy hair bonnet.
Bruh...straight up mental arrested development.
"...there's a bit of complexity in the above classes. Some of the character traits indeed cross all social, economical and educational lines. Hell, there are for sure some educated and initiated thots in Chicago! But by-in-large the numbers are few."
Please believe educated Black men in Chicago look at the various social, intellectual and educational dynamics relative to dating and relationships.
In other words: What does this woman bring to the table? How can she make me a better man? How can we grow an empire together? What are her goals and ambitions? Are other men fighting for her attention?
There are some amazing Black single women in Chicago. In most cases (not all) the problem is educated, initiated, successful Black men in Chicago are HOES!
Yup, should I say it again?! The problem is educated, initiated, successful Black men in Chicago are HOES!
Very seldom do you find Black men who were once alpha-males from youth now part of the Black educated and initiated class. Let's face it, most (not all) of the Black educated and initiated men in Chicago and other cities were lames in elementary and high school.
"In many cases, most alpha-males or sports jocks don't join fraternities. Hell, most aren't innovated enough to juggle trial by fire while schooling, working and involved in sports".
Negroes get a college degree, join a frat and now think he's the cat's meow, when back in the day that same Negro was a book worm nerd who couldn't get attention from girls if he paid for it.
Basically, Black women in Chicago have to wait till Black men grow up. They have to give once lame (now) educated and initiated Black men in Chicago, space to clairvoyance back in time and screw as many women he can in the present as if it's going to change the fact he was once a lame.
"Ole back to the future ass nigga!"
...I know, I know...you don't get it. But the lame brothers do! They know exactly what I'm talking about. LOL! Many of them are in my fraternity. I look at em' like bruh, you're a beta-extrovert. Fall back son.
The main reason outside of Black men struggling with the past and with their egos, is the fact Black women don't give Black men ultimatums. A man will screw you for years until you step up and say "No more sex until you put a ring on it!"
He'll either get his act together or leave. In either case you won. Why? Because you stood up for yourself. Because you demanded respect.
In essence, Black women have to demand what they want from a relationship. Do you want marriage? Do you want a family? Are you tired of giving niggas...I mean Negroes head (oral sex) on the first date thinking it'll make him respect you? Don't you want more from a relationship?
The answer is you have not because you ask not! No! I'm not saying ask a man to marry you. I'm saying let a brother know marriage is in your very near future and if he can't get with that then you can't get with him.
To add, you as a Black woman must also understand love is a competition. Hell even animals understand love is competition which is why they dance, make weird sounds, fight (I'm not saying you should physically fight someone), etc., in order to mate.
The reality is getting what you want is warfare. And please stop thinking God is going to somehow knock the man of your dreams upside his head and tell him to marry you. The Bible says "WHO SO findeth a wife, findeth a good thing...."(Proverbs 18:22).
* It's up to the man to look, seek, search and find a wife. It's up to you to get pretty, get sexy, tone that body and position yourself like Ruth to be seen and found.
If you want men to notice you then you have to project vibrations and energy that says "I'm available for a relationship". This "F" a nigga attitude ain't gonna cut it. This I'm miss independent attitude ain't gonna cut it as well. (Ebonics intended).
Strong men don't want an independent woman. They want an interdependent woman. In a relationship a man wants to feel needed. Most men aren't afraid of successful interdependent Black women.
Men operate best under pressure. Men need timetables. Men need schedules. Men need some type of blueprint that says this is the focus and these are the goals of the current relationship I'm in.
If a woman provides positive pressure, along with timetables and schedules, I'm convinced she'll get what she wants from any relationship.
Black women in Chicago must also be open to starting mid-level and working upward. By mid-level I mean give a guy with an undergrad degree a chance.
He's probably not making well into the six figures now, but at least see where his head is relative to his dreams, visions, goals and plans. Brother could have a million dollar brain that only needs your experience, guidance and direction.
Lastly, Black women in Chicago are single because they're simply tired of the bullsh*t! It's safe to say many of them have mentally checked out. They're on sabbatical from sex, love, relationships and men in general. Single Black women in Chicago are more so focused on paying bills and building an empire.
They jump in their luxury cars, go home to a big house, an empty bed and binge watch Insecure.
Again, there are some intelligent, beautiful, educated, initiated single Black women in Chicago. So unfortunate Black men aren't claiming them...