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Dating Single Black Men in Chicago...

Let's face it...most single Black men in Chicago are broke. When I say broke I mean most single Black men in Chicago are living in a one bedroom apartment (that they've convinced themselves is a condo). Sleeping on an air mattress, and driving a preowned C-Class Mercedes Benz.

Hey, that's the culture of the crème de la crème single Black men in Chicago. If single Black men in Chicago would be honest and simply say "listen, you're an amazing girl; however, I'm chasing a level of success that's going to require me to make sacrifices I don't wanna make. I'm going to have to do things I don't want to do, but have to do.

At this moment I can't afford to be in a relationship because all it'll do is slow me down and hold me back. I'm just not ready to deal with the ups and downs, highs and lows, and all the beauty and ugliness that comes with being in a relationship.

I'm really trying to get my shit together. I'm really trying to build an empire and legacy. Right now I can't be your lover, but I can be your friend!"

...if more single Black men said the aforementioned we'd have a better understanding of where we stand in relationships. Fat chance of that happening. Too many single Black men in Chicago are benefitting from the beta-Extrovert syndrome which gives a false image of success and perfection but is far from it.

You go to some of these brothers' social media pages and they have it all laid out as if they're making around $600K a year. LOL! They post the best pics of themselves eating at fancy restaurants with the hashtag BLACKMANLOOKINGFORLOVE. 

Black single men in Chicago seem to have all the answers as it relates to relationships, yet they are SINGLE! How can your relationship advice be so great and you're still single? Shouldn't your advice also work for you?

Like, you've been in several relationships and still no leading lady in your life. Hmmm....

Yet these same men have a laundry list of what a Black woman should be and/or do while in a relationship.

These Negroes be like:
"I want a woman who gives me my space, yet I see her everyday.

I want a woman that's classy, but also a THOT.

I want a woman that loves God, but is also down with a threesome.

I want a woman to suck my cock everyday, but also understand as a man there's a possibility I might cheat on her.

I want a woman down with giving me a blowjob after Bible class, but understands it's nothing personal...we're just friends.

I want a woman cool with me being friends with exes I had sex with...that shows me she's mature!"

The demands single Black men in Chicago have for Black women is utterly ridiculous! Meanwhile, Black women don't really have the same demands. It's totally unfair what's going on in Chicago as it relates to #BLACKLOVE 

It's interesting how men seem to always blame women for the demise of a relationship and not take any blame themselves. Like bruh, you weren't the picture of perfection yourself!

Maybe your relationship ended because you as a man got comfortable with being mediocre relative to your life's goals and ambitions? Maybe she dumped you because you became boring and predictable?

Maybe your weight gain decreased your libido and caused the size of your penis to shrink? Maybe she grew weary of you flirting with other women and blaming her for being insecure? Maybe the sex just wasn't good anymore? Maybe she got tired of your arrogance?

The dating scene in Black Chicago is truly one huge shit show. You'd be lucky, or should I say blessed to date someone in Black Chicago that isn't jaded, hurt and broken.

If more of our Black institutions: Fraternities, Sororities, Social Organizations and especially the Black church pushed love and marriage, I believe we'd have a better outcome.

What's needed in Chicago as it relates to dating and relationships is accountability. Too many people aren't accountable for their own lives. Accountability as in random sex. Cheating. Repeating the same cycle. 

Black men in Chicago must hold each other accountable, but that can't happen if we're all doing the same negative things. Maybe this is why brothers aren't being checked by other brothers in Chicago?

"The pot can't call
the kettle BLACK!" 

If we don't get our stuff together soon then we can forget about the advancement of #BlackLove we might as well prepare for #GreyLove and there's nothing wrong with "Grey Love!"

Written By:
Jim Allen