Ladies, its cuffing season and you are not getting arrested! Here’s one reason why!
By William R. Riley
Well ladies! It’s that time of year again! The summer is over. The greenery of the trees has begun to become brown and crisp. There are minimal if not any outdoor functions taking place because of the chill in the day and night air and its now beginning to get darker earlier and lighter later.
Its cuffing season! Time to get locked down with the one you love for the holiday season and hopefully….Forever. You're educated and gorgeous, but there’s one problem….you don’t have a man and can’t get one!
Yes, I know what you are going to say! “I don’t need a man”! Of course! This I know, but the truth is that in this self automated world where everything is now being done through technology without as much physicality as in the past, this is possible for everyone!
No one needs anyone if that’s really the case. However, I’m quite sure there are some ladies out there that are single and would truly love to mingle if they could figure out what they could possibly be doing wrong to not attract the good men of the opposite sex.
Let me say for the record that you are attracting them, but you may be pushing them away from you as well. Please allow for me to express my opinions on why you may not be getting a jail sentence of love.
Scenario one: A man and a woman are walking down the opposite ends of a street. They are both African American. (Not that their race is important, but I need to make a point). The man is well dressed and neat, nothing gaudy or too much.
He’s just a regular guy possibly on his way to work. As he begins to notice the woman the closer they get, he then decides that instead of just walking by looking straight forward like an aimless zombie of the walking dead, that he would at least glance over to her in passing and say , “Hello”!
The woman who is walking the opposite of his direction then makes the choice to either keep looking straight ahead or side eye him and not reply back to him at the moment that their bodies angle and align. She simply walks right pass him….without saying a word even though she noticed him.
Scenario two: Men and women are at a gathering (a club, a barbeque, etc). One particular sister and her friends are to most men’s standards absolutely beautiful. They are holding up the wall, surveying the room with drinks in hand, while grooving to the melody of the music and participatingly staring into the crowd.
This occurs for a period of time. No one approaches them, maybe out of intimidation or fear of rejection. And then at that moment one brave starship trooper brother approaches them with confidence.
He then attempts to crack the ice by either telling them how beautiful they are or making a funny comment or gesture. The woman in the group that is his main interest then responds with a giggle, but then, the other women whom she is with then frowns and side eyes him.
The woman then noticing the scrutiny that her colleagues or should I say her crew is displaying toward the brother then becomes very stoic herself, not replying back much to what he has just said or had to say. The brother in all his good intentions has been shot down!
However after sometime, once she has moved on she may tend to find herself in a cycle as a serial rejectionist. This is something I made up! A serial rejectionist is much like a serial killer, but instead of constantly taking people’s lives, she takes away a man’s concern and ambition to even bother to approach her!
No matter what a brother says to her whether it be about her beauty her intellect or even her outfit, she constantly responds with either a no or nothing at all (side eye optional). This is done I assume in the quest to find/cherry pick her Prince Charming or Dark Gable.
However honestly, in both scenarios, this is a woman’s prerogative! She has the right to either choose to acknowledge the gentlemen’s cordial greetings and advances or she can simply ignore them and move on. She chooses to move on, but sometimes there is a price, the price of loneliness.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? Are you guilty or do you know anyone that is guilty of this social avoidance. Ladies, I must ask a question, how many Prince Charmings and Dark Gables have you passed by, not acknowledged, rejected or declined to even get to know better?
Do you or have you kept count!? I’m quite sure that some women will say and can say, “He is not my type”! “I don’t like the way he looks”! “He looks like he has no money” or, here comes the big one “I am educated with an advanced degree and he may not be on my level"!
Sisters! Please allow me to say that I am very proud of all of you as educated queens (the most educated in America to be exact ) and the potential future mothers of our generations to come but please don’t let that go to your head!
Hear me out! As great as it is “Education displays ambition, it does not replace character”! A degree or advanced Degree can only display to someone where you want to go and perhaps how you may go about getting there and achieving your life’s goals.
A degree does not display the true person that you are or want people to know you as you really are. Only communication can do that! Do you get where I’m going with this?
So! The next time you see a brother coming down the avenue or he walks up to you in the club or social gathering to say hello, before you totally reject him, get to know him!
After you have asked his name and what does he do for a living, ask him what are his dreams and how is he trying to manifest them. I think perhaps you will be rather surprised after a while to see that he is more than meets the eye and your idea.
Now this does not mean that every man who will approach you will be that Prince you are looking for? No! But at least it will reflect on the record that you listened to what he had to say and even if he was not your idea at that moment, you may have put him on the road to what it may take to be one with a queen like yourself. And hopefully afterwards, you get a long jail sentence….with no parole (Wink).
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