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Letter To My SON

Son, below are some rules I want you to use in your life as you enter manhood. If you abide by these rules you will not only be successful, but also powerful. Remember son, power is nothing without courage. Courage is nothing without love. Love is nothing without discipline.

1) Son, get as much education as you can. And even after that always continue to read and research everything for yourself, for your own understanding.

2) Son, be a critical thinker. In this world people will teach you (what) to think, but not (how) to think. You must sharpen your mind to the point you think for yourself. You must learn how to think above what to think. 

3) Son, ain't nothing funny bout no broke nigga! Make as much money as you can. 24/7 let money be your mission. Be driven like a poor Black kid living in the ghetto trying to make it to the pros.

4) Son, fall in love in your 30's. Start a family in your 30's. Enjoy your life as a single man. Love is a heavy price son, it'll either make or break you. Make sure you're mentally ready for love, and especially starting a family. Sometimes love don't love nobody. You'll understand that as the years go by. 

5) Son, your body is special. Don't share your body freely i.e. sex with random women. It's not worth the demons in your mind feeding off of old sexual thoughts. Indeed son, thoughts are only thoughts; however, limit the amount of negative thoughts in your mind. Your body is a temple. Keep your temple trimmed and clean. Make sure your outward appearance matches your inward appearance. 

6) Son, find something to believe in. Believe in something (God, the universe, karma, sowing and reaping, whatever). Son, you must live by a certain code of manhood. Only you will know what that code is. When you find it...stand on it with all your might. Most of all be sure to believe in yourself above everything else. You must have confidence in yourself and your God. 

7) Son, always cherish your family and friends; however, don't be afraid to lose them for whatever reason life might cause. Family and friends sometimes become foes. Keep your eyes open and allow the wheat and tares to grow together. Soon, you'll know who your true family and friends are.

8) Son, try not to need anyone for money, food or shelter. S/he who provides you with money, food and shelter will feel as if they own you. You must not allow yourself to fall into that type of snare. Never give someone this type of power over your life and destiny. You must always seek to have your own (car, house, money, food...)!  

9) Son, never be friends with an Ex-girlfriend. It'll only distract her from being true to the man she's currently with. Don't be a stalking horse. Don't allow yourself to be involved with her. It's not right and it's not fair to the man trying to make her happy. This doesn't mean you have to hate her, it just means you shouldn't interfere in her life. Move on from her son. Find you a woman that's worth all your mind, love, body, soul and strength. 

10) Son, enjoy all life has to offer. Travel the country of your birth. Travel around the world. Give yourself the best life you can.

11) Son, you are not obligated to only love and/or marry someone of your race. Feel free to love whomever regardless of race or culture. You are human before anything else. Love has no color.

12) Son, be tolerant of others beliefs. Doesn't mean you have to agree or convert to their ideology, but it does mean you should allow God to be the final judge of what others believe.

13) Son, always try to maintain a physical shape. Be prepared to defend yourself mentally, spiritually, and physically. You must never be a coward dear son. This doesn't mean I want you to go around being a bad ass, but it does mean when it's time for combat be prepared to kick ass! Whether you win or lose, never run away from a one-on-one fight. Stand your ground as a man. Son, war is just as divine as peace for both started in heaven (Revelation 12:7). 

14) Son, all you have in this life is your manhood. Your manhood is your word. If you can't stand on your word then you become useless and unreliable. Say what you mean and mean what you say. This doesn't mean you can't joke around and enjoy life, but it does mean when it's time to mean business, mean just that.

15) Son, be your own man... ALWAYS! A woman can't make you a man. Sometimes son, a woman will take the very thing you love the most (your family, your children, your love) she'll take it all away from you. She'll challenge you and then tell you to curse God and die (Job 2:9). Even in those times never allow her to take your manhood. Stand firm on your beliefs, even if that means losing her. 

16) Son, know that you come from an ancient people. You come from a people that overcame betrayal in Africa, sold into slavery, and legal segregation.

17) Son, whenever you need to relax your mind try meditation, prayer or 1970's music: Jazz, Soul, R&B. The messages will provide you the inspiration needed to lift yourself out of any funk.

18) Son, be sure to join a fraternity or brotherhood at your church. It's good for men to be in the company of other good men. Iron sharpens iron dear son.

19) Son, it doesn't matter if you are a woman's first love. Just be her last love. The heart of a woman is in many places, but it rest with the one she loves. If she loves you then that's all that matters. All others are but jewels in her crown; however, you are her crown. You sit on top of her head, thus her thoughts will always circle around the circumference of her head and end up thinking about you.

20) Son, meet all men on an equal level playing field until he proves otherwise. Don't waste your time with dishonorable men. 

21) Lastly son, I know you look up to me, but I want you to be better than me. I want you to be taller and bigger than me. I want you to grow like an oak tree. I want you to surpass me in everything. Be a better man than I could dream of. Make me proud as you already have.

Written By: Jim Allen